How to Not Be Nervous Around Pretty Girls (7 Mindsets to Avoid!)

There are 7 mindsets that mess you up as a man and cause you to feel insecure, weak, and powerless around women you find attractive.  

These mental traps often force you to miss out on high-quality women or lower your standards so much just to get "something" that you end up regretting it later.  

You know the types of women you truly want; you see them and feel that draw, but these messed-up mindsets stop you from getting what you want .

To learn how to not be nervous around pretty girls, you need to identify and eliminate these seven insecure patterns of thinking that weaken your position.

1. The "Choose Women Who Choose You" Trap

This idea is popular in the "manosphere" because it sounds like you don’t have to "lower yourself" to talk to anyone.  But in reality, this mindset leaves you with zero control.  You end up at the mercy of women, waiting for them to notice you, which makes you feel powerless and insecure.

Because most women are passive and waiting to be chosen, nothing usually happens.  Even handsome men struggle with this; often, the only women who "throw themselves" at a man are those he isn't genuinely attracted to.  If you only take what is "thrown at you" out of convenience, you never get the women you actually want.

2. Believing All the "Sweet, Feminine Women" are Taken

If you believe that every pretty, sweet, or feminine woman is already "taken," you’ll never feel like you should walk up and say hi.  This mindset weakens you and makes you think there is nothing available for you .

The truth is that most relationships don't actually work, meaning beautiful women come back onto the dating market all the time .  They are out at lounge bars, cocktail bars, or even clothing stores hoping to meet a lover, boyfriend, or husband.  

If you focus only on women who are "angry" or "overweight," your brain will notice them everywhere while missing the sweet, feminine women who are actually single and available.

3. Thinking Starting a Conversation Gives Her All the Power

Many "knuckleheads" on social media claim that walking over to a woman gives her the power because it shows you are interested.

Actually, a woman sees a man who walks over as a powerful man with "balls" who isn't intimidated by her.  You aren't giving away your power; you are taking on the role that is built into nature—the sexual pursuer.  No one can take your power unless you decide in your own mind that they have it . This is a major secret regarding how to talk to beautiful women without feeling like you're losing value.

4. Thinking "Women are Different These Days"

While the superficial layer of culture changes every decade, attraction remains exactly the same under the surface .  Whether it's the 60s, 80s, or today, women are always naturally attracted to men who are confident and turned off by men who are insecure .

Success doesn't come from complaining about modern dating or dating apps.  It comes from realizing that how to not be nervous around girls depends on realizing attraction is triggered by certain traits and behaviors, like flirting and assertiveness, that never change.

5. Believing Pretty Women Only Want "Chads"

You’ve likely seen videos claiming women only want the "top 5%" of men (tall, handsome, rich and muscular).  Guys use this mindset to avoid facing their fear of talking to attractive women .

However, you can look around and see guys who are shorter than the woman, losing their hair, or who aren't "muscular" who still have beautiful girlfriends.  Women find certain physical traits attractive, but they also care deeply about whether you can handle a woman’s tests of your confidence without falling apart.

6. Believing You Must Be Successful Before You Can Get a Girlfriend

This is another "naive" mindset used to avoid the risk of rejection.  You might hear a woman on TikTok say a man has to be a millionaire, but that isn't the reality for most people. 

You should definitely focus on becoming successful as a man, but you can get laid or get a girlfriend while you are still "figuring out life" or working a casual job.  Waiting until you are "successful" just keeps you in a state of feeling powerless and insecure in the meantime . 

7. Feeling You Have to Say Everything Perfectly

 If you feel like you have to say everything perfectly or she’ll lose interest, you are walking a tightrope.  This makes your body language and energy tense, which women pick up on immediately.

Women forget most of the things you say, but they remember how you made them feel .  When you make a woman feel genuine attraction, she becomes forgiving of your mistakes.  Being confident, easygoing, and free-flowing is much more attractive than being a "perfect" talker who is secretly needy for a result.