Why You Freeze Up Around Girls You Like (Even Though You Know You Shouldn’t)

^{By Dan Bacon, founder of Master Attraction}

Imagine that you're in a social situation right now and you see your ideal woman.

The type of woman that you've been looking for.

She has the type of look that you've been looking for, the type of energy.

You look at her and you just know it.

You want to be with her.

You want a girl like that.

But in the moment, you freeze up.

You may know that you should not be freezing up.

You should have the confidence to walk over and talk to her and make something happen.

You may also realize in the moment that if you don't walk over there and talk to her and give yourself a chance, then nothing is probably going to happen.

Some other guy will talk to her and you'll just look at her and wish you had gone over and talked to her, or maybe you'll go home and you'll think, "Ah, I could have said that to her. I could have done this. I could have walked over and said that and then did that" and it all comes to you later on.

But in the moment, you freeze up.

One of the reasons why that happens is that a guy will often expect to feel the same type of confidence that he feels in other areas of his life when it comes to moments like those, but he then won't.

His confidence will fail him in a moment like that and he'll then start to think, "Well maybe I just can't be confident when it comes to that sort of thing. Maybe it's just way too difficult for me as a guy to see a woman that I find attractive and feel confident enough to walk over and talk to her."

Yet what's really going on is that the guy is causing himself to feel fear and nervousness and self-doubt based on what he's focusing on, what he's thinking about.

For example, for some guys, they'll look at the woman that they find attractive, but then start to visualize or think about failure and rejection.

"What if I walk over and talk to her and she rejects me and everyone else sees and I'm then humiliated?"

Or, "What if I'm standing in a cafe and there's a woman standing next to me waiting for her coffee too and I start talking to her and she looks at me like, you know, as though 'What are you talking to me for?' And then everyone else sees that and they think that I'm a nuisance, that I'm annoying her, I'm pestering her."

"And then I feel humiliated and I walk out of there with my tail between my legs thinking, 'Damn it, women don't want to talk to me. What was I thinking? Who am I to think that I can just talk to a woman that I don't know?'"

And so on.

So the guy is thinking about those sorts of negative thoughts and as a result, he freezes up in the moment.

When it comes to an area of his life where he is confident, he isn't visualizing failure.

For example, maybe he's confident with his work.

Or maybe he's confident when he goes to the gym.

Or maybe he's confident when he's doing some sort of hobby of his or something that he enjoys doing.

He goes into that feeling good and feeling good about the potential outcomes.

But when it comes to a woman, he focuses on the negatives.

Focuses on the potential failure and rejection, humiliation, embarrassment and so on.

As a result, he freezes up in the moment.

He is making that happen to himself in the moment.

It's not something that has to happen, but he's making it happen for himself based on what he's focusing on.

This is something that a member of my community (Master Attraction Community) experienced recently, where he had been holding off on talking to a hot girl for a long time.

When he eventually did it, he realized that she was a lot nicer than he thought she would be.

It was a lot easier to do than he thought it would be.

Another member of my community kissed a girl after not having done that for a long time.

A lot of times, guys will get in their head and they'll think that it's going to be very difficult to get to that point with a woman, or they're going to be very difficult to talk to.

But once you actually do it, you realize that it's not as difficult or scary as you may have thought it was.

Most women are not combative.

They are not going to get into an argument with you or be confrontational and create a problem.

Although, of course, there are some women out there who are nuts.

Great.

Just like there are some men out there who are nuts.

But for the most part, when you walk up to a woman, she is not going to create a problem.

She's just going to be friendly and open.

Or if she's not interested, she'll have her guard up and she will be a little bit detached.

Yet, she's not going to be rude and try to hurt you and humiliate you in front of everyone and embarrass you.

However, for example, a guy walks up and he's trying to hit on a woman and be sleazy and so forth or he's trying really hard to pick her up, then okay, sometimes a woman will try to really reject that guy and get him to leave her alone.

But the approach to get with women that you find attractive is not to go over there and be sleazy and try hard to pick up.

Instead, when you walk over and you're just being a cool, easygoing guy and you're not trying to get somewhere with the woman right away and try to get a result, then the woman doesn't have to play hard to get and start playing mind games.

Because you're not trying to get anywhere.

You're just a cool, easygoing guy who has decided to start talking to her.

Then she feels attracted to your confidence.

She feels attracted to the fact that you're not desperate, that you're not needy, that you're not making the social mistake of trying really hard to pick her up initially and hoping to get a result just like that, where you walk over and then the woman makes everything happen for you, or she's just like, "Yes, yes I really like you. Let's get something going."

Instead, you're more relaxed about it.

Everything's fine.

On that note, it leads me to another point here about why guys will freeze up when they want to talk to a woman that they find attractive.

That would be that the guy feels like he would be interrupting her, or almost like she would be doing him a favor by talking to him.

Like he's going over there and he's trying to take something from her.

He's trying to get something from her.

Yet, the thing is, when you're a guy who can make women feel some sparks of attraction for you, then she is getting something from the interaction.

She's getting to feel attracted to you.

If she's single and looking to find a lover, boyfriend or husband, you're giving her an opportunity to meet a lover, boyfriend or husband.

You're not taking something from her.

She's getting something from you walking over and starting a conversation with her.

She knows that it's in her best interest, if she's single, to open up to the interaction if you're being confident and you seem like a cool, easygoing guy.

But as I said, if a guy walks over and he's very nervous and he's hoping to get a result just by walking over, then it's not in the woman's best interest to open up to that.

If she opens up to that type of interaction and she gives that guy a chance to be with her, then he's probably going to be very nervous and insecure in the relationship.

It's going to be a difficult and emotionally draining experience for her, where she's having to reassure him all the time and essentially guide him through the process of being with her and keep his chin up sort of thing, pat him on the back and things like that.

But if you're being a confident, easygoing guy when you walk up and talk to her, then it's in her best interest to open up and see what happens.

It's something that she is getting.

It's not something that you're taking from her.

She wants to find a lover, boyfriend, or husband.

You've been confident enough to start a conversation with her.

Whether, for example, you're standing at a cafe and she's waiting for her coffee and you're waiting for your coffee after having ordered it, and then you just start a conversation with her.

The fact that you have the confidence to offer her that opportunity to meet a guy like you, is you giving her something.

You're not taking anything from her.

She knows that.

Yet, as I said, if a guy is trying hard to get a result and trying hard to pick her up and really putting a lot of pressure on that, then okay, he's trying to get something from her.

But if a guy starts a conversation with her and she's feeling sparks of attraction, then he becomes something that she wants.

She's looking for a lover, boyfriend or husband and he's making her feel attracted.

He's not being desperate or trying hard to get a result.

So she starts feeling drawn to him and she's getting some things from the interaction now.

Such as her getting to feel attracted.

It's an enjoyable feeling.

Her feeling excited about the potential opportunity with that guy.

Her starting to get butterflies in her stomach as they interact.

Her beginning to imagine that they may have a future together.

It becomes an enjoyable experience for her.

If the guy then has the confidence to shoot his shot, in almost all cases he'll get a result.

Another reason why a guy will freeze up when he sees a woman that he finds attractive and he knows that he should walk over and talk to her—or he should start a conversation with her if they're sitting next to each other or standing next to each other—the opportunity is right there, he's that close to starting something with the woman, but he doesn't do it, he freezes up, is that he treats his hesitation in that moment as meaning that he's not ready.

"I'm hesitating right now, like I'm not ready to do this. I can't do it."

Rather than realizing that when most guys get results with women, they feel a bit nervous and hesitant to give it a shot.

If a guy is truly confident, then he's not going to feel that though.

Instead, a truly confident guy will be standing next to a woman and know that he's going to be able to make her feel attracted.

He's used to being able to do that and he knows that she's going to have a great experience as a result.

He's giving something to her.

She's getting something, so it's not a problem.

He'll start talking to her if he wants to talk to her.

But if a guy doesn't have that level of confidence and he still wants to talk to a woman that he finds attractive and then get a result, then he just pushes through in the moment.

He just pushes himself to take some action.

One way of explaining this is that he is determined.

Rather than being confident—100% confident—in the moment, he's determined to do what he wants to do to get the result that he wants to get.

It's not desperate.

It's not needy, him doing that.

Instead, he's a determined man who is going after what he wants and he has the courage to do that.

That's why, for example, you'll sometimes see guys who have a girlfriend and it's obvious that the guy isn't very confident.

But in most cases, he was determined to talk to the girl that he found attractive.

He was determined to move things forward.

Because of that, he got a result.

He got himself a girlfriend.

Some guys will look on and wonder, "How the heck did he get her? What's going on there?"

But in many cases, it's just because he gave himself a chance.

He was determined to give himself a chance.

He was determined to ask her out.

He was determined to move things forward.

The next thing you know, he's in a relationship with her.

A lot of guys don't realize that sort of thing, where women are attracted to traits such as confidence and bravery.

It has been proven time and time again that even if a guy isn't perfectly confident but he seems more confident than her, a woman will feel attracted.

Even if a guy may have been a bit worried about taking action, but then he was brave enough, he was courageous enough to take action, women find him more attractive.

They find him more appealing.

Additionally, most women just really aren't that difficult to get with.

Most are quite easy.

When you ask for their phone number, they just say yes and they give you their phone number.

Or if you start talking to a woman, she opens up and she's easygoing and friendly and entertains the opportunity.

"Let's see what happens here."

Or if you've made her feel attracted and you suggest catching up, she says yes.

She goes on the date and she entertains the opportunity.

"All right, let's see what happens here."

Most guys don't realize that, so they freeze up thinking that it's going to be a really difficult experience and women are really difficult and they're not going to be able to get anywhere.

So they just remain in their comfort zone where they're feeling safe.

But when remaining in your comfort zone—if you've been doing that—you will know that you've lost opportunities with women who seemed to be interested in you, that you liked as well.

Or you had a perfect opportunity to talk to a girl or ask her out and you didn't do it.

You went away regretting that and you wished that you just had the confidence to take action, but you didn't in the moment because of some of the reasons I've been talking about in this video.

Another reason is that some guys feel like they can only really take action if they're 100% certain that things are going to go well or 100% certain that the girl really likes them.

But the thing is, in most cases, when a guy gets a girl—when he gets a girlfriend or he starts having sex with a new woman—there was uncertainty in the situation.

But he did it anyway.

There was no guarantee that he was going to get a result with her.

But he talked to her anyway.

He asked her out anyway.

He asked for her phone number anyway.

Because of that, he gets results.

Yet if you're just freezing up and looking at women that you find attractive and then feeling like, "No, no, no, I'm not ready. Or all these things could go wrong. Or no, I mean, she probably wouldn't like a guy like me. I wouldn't have a chance with her," and so on, then you're going to continue to freeze up when it counts.

You might not freeze up if a woman isn't that attractive to you.

But if you see a woman that you're attracted to—the type of woman that you've been looking for, the type of woman who seems right for you—you really like that type of woman, your confidence is going to fail you in those moments because you're running the same old negative thought patterns in your head.

Of everything that could go wrong.

Of you not being ready.

Or if you feel like you're hesitating, it means that it's not right, you shouldn't do it.

"No, something doesn't feel right here. I shouldn't go over and talk to her."

When other guys who get results just push through that feeling and do it anyway.

For guys who are confident, it's a different experience altogether.

They don't have insecure, negative thought patterns running in their head.

As a result, when they see a woman that they find attractive, they feel good.

They can feel like, "Okay cool, I want to go talk to this woman."

They know that they're going to be able to make her feel attracted.

If the guy isn't using an approach where he's trying to get a result with women, trying hard to pick up, then he's got nothing to worry about.

He's not going over there going, "Hi, I like you. Can I take you out sometime?"

He's not doing that.

He's walking over and starting a conversation in a confident, easygoing way.

The woman is feeling attracted to him.

He's going to see her feeling attracted.

He's going to flirt with her a little bit, build up a bit of sexual tension and then get her number or get her to sit down and have a coffee or lunch with him right then and there.

Or if they're in a bar, get her to sit down on a sofa with him and hang out.

The next thing you know, he's got his arm around her, he's bringing her in to kiss, they start kissing and he gets a result.

By the way, if you want to have the type of confidence where you no longer worry when you see a woman that you find attractive and instead you feel good and you can walk over and talk to her—or if you're talking to a woman that you find attractive, you can shoot your shot—then you will love my Attraction Mastery video lesson series.

In the Attraction Mastery video lesson series, I teach you how to display and how to have all of the traits that trigger attraction inside of women.

I also explain what to say and do.

That's why the members of my community are getting results like this—where they kiss women within minutes of meeting them, they have sex with women the first time that they meet them, they have women asking to be their girlfriend.

They get results with women in all sorts of situations, such as being at the beach, or being in a cafe, or driving past a woman in a car, or at a yoga class—you name it.

In all sorts of situations, guys are getting results with women because it's not difficult.

It's not rocket science.

It's not a complicated thing.

All you've got to do is display traits that make women feel attracted to you and shoot your shot.

That's how the naturals do it.

That's how I did it for so many years before settling down.

It's not a case where you have to use a complicated 15-step pickup strategy or something like that.

It's just two steps.

Display traits that make women feel attracted—traits such as confidence, flirting, use a bit of assertiveness where necessary, have what I call untamed energy rather than being a tamed guy in terms of your energy, display some high status behavior rather than low status behavior.

Low status behavior, for example, is seeking the woman's approval, trying to hopefully be approved by her rather than approving of yourself.

There are so many different non-physical traits that you can display that trigger attraction inside of women.

When you do that, they're attracted to you.

All you then have to do is shoot your shot.

That's why the guys who learn from me get results like this and why they're so amazed at how easy it is for them, because it's not complicated.

If you want to learn my attraction secrets, check out Attraction Mastery and start getting results with women.