Why Am I Nervous to Talk to Girls? The 'Value Gap' Secret

The number one reason why guys feel nervous to talk to girls is that they do not feel like they have something that they can say or do that will make the girl feel as attracted to them as they feel attracted to her.

This creates a "value gap" in your mind where you feel like it is an unfair value exchange.

You feel like she has more value and you are trying to get something from her, which naturally makes you feel lower than her.

You are hoping that if you do attempt to talk to her, or if you build up the courage to talk to her, she is going to like you for some reason, but you are not confident about that.

You know that you feel really attracted to her, but when you have attempted to talk to girls that you find attractive in the past, they have not been amazed.

They have not made it obvious that they want to get with you sexually and romantically, and as a result, you notice that and you feel more nervous.

You are feeling very attracted to her, but she seems like she could take you or leave you because the value exchange feels one-sided.

She may even act a little bit disinterested to test your confidence because she senses that you are feeling nervous and stuck in that "value gap."

She wants to confirm it, so she starts playing a little bit hard to get and seeming disinterested in some of the things that you are saying.

You notice that and you feel more nervous, then you start overthinking it and you run out of things to say.

Then you go away thinking, why am I nervous to talk to girls, and why don't girls like me?

Nothing seems to work, so many guys think they need to become more successful in life or they need to look better to close that "value gap."

For a guy who works on becoming more successful, he might get promoted to a project manager and think that his new salary gives him the value he needs.

He gets into an interaction with a girl that he finds attractive, and when she asks what he does, he thinks this is his big moment.

He says he is a project manager at a great company, but she just says, "Oh, yeah, cool," and looks for her friend.

She does not seem impressed or amazed, and he is standing there thinking, why isn't she showing me lots of interest now that I have this success?

He is starting to feel nervous because she seems like she does not really care, and then she starts to lose interest or she starts to test his confidence.

Why "Self-Improvement" Often Fails to Fix the Nerves

Then there is the guy who focuses on trying to look better, thinking that a better body will close the "value gap."

As a result, he does get more looks from women, but when he interacts with attractive women, the girls that he really wants, he is still feeling nervous.

He is nervous because they are not making it obvious that they want to be with him, despite his new look.

He has been working out for the last year and a half and he is massive, but these girls are acting like they do not even feel attracted to him.

What is happening is that he needs to have some things to say and do so that when he interacts with a woman, he can trigger her attraction and balance the "value gap" through his behavior.

He needs to see the woman light up or see her start to smile or touch his arm in a flirtatious way.

He needs to have things to say or do rather than thinking that if he says what his job is or if he stands there after having worked out that the women are just going to be amazed.

Girls just are not going to do that unless the guy is really handsome and the woman is less attractive than him.

If a guy is a regular guy, or even a regular good-looking guy, or if he is below average-looking, then he needs to have things to say or do to trigger attraction.

He needs to see her eyes light up or feel like she thinks he is confident.

I created a program to make sure that every guy who learns from me has things he can say or do that absolutely ensure he will get results.

He says and does certain things that make women feel attracted, and he notices it, and that boosts his confidence.

His attractiveness to women increases every week to the point where he is just in the zone and able to start talking to girls and make them feel attracted.

Using Playful Pressure to Close the Gap

For example, you can use an amused and slightly suspicious tone of voice when you ask her a question.

If it gets to the point in the conversation where you are going to ask what she does for a living, do not just have a pleasant, friendly conversation.

That is not the thing that makes women feel attracted, and it does not close the "value gap."

Use an amused, slightly suspicious tone and say, "So, what do you do for a living anyway?"

What is going on there is that you have the confidence to playfully mess with her and be a bit playfully suspicious of her.

You are putting a bit of pressure on her in the moment rather than what pretty much every other guy does.

Most guys want to remove all the pressure from the woman and make sure that she is feeling comfortable and reassured, but that is not going to trigger attraction.

If you want to trigger attraction, you can create some friction and put a bit of pressure on her in a playful way.

She is thinking, why is he feeling suspicious about me, and that is a bit mysterious and interesting to her.

The fact that you have the courage to put a bit of pressure on her makes her feel attracted to your confidence, your strength, and your cheekiness.

Becoming Emotionally Stronger Than the Woman

Women do not want to get with a guy who is emotionally weaker than them.

They want to get with a guy who is emotionally stronger than them, which is the ultimate way to flip the "value gap."

If she says something and you find it interesting, do not just have a nice pleasant corporate style conversation with her.

Change it to an amused, slightly suspicious tone and say, "Huh, that's interesting, so why did you decide to do that?"

Now she feels like the spotlight is on her and she feels your power.

She feels like you are not afraid of her or intimidated by her because you are the man.

A guy who is less powerful is scared of what he is asking, but you have so much emotional strength that you can playfully mess with her.

You are not worried about how she is going to react because you are so confident.

When you know how to make women feel attracted, the nerves go because she is going to like you.

I used to be a guy who had no idea how to make women feel attracted, and as a result, I was nervous and insecure.

But once I figured out how to make women feel attracted, everything changed, and women started to feel attracted to me when I was talking to them.

I enjoyed my choice of women for over 10 years before settling down with my perfect girl, who I am still with to this day.

Moving Beyond Just Being "Likable"

Once you know how to make women feel attracted, they really like you right away.

You get used to doing things that a confident guy will do when he is interacting with a woman rather than doing things that do not trigger attraction.

You might be able to get women to like you as a person, but attraction is a completely different thing altogether.

If you go through your life just trying to get women to like you as a person, they are going to be like, "Yeah, just whatever," and they won't react with obvious interest.

You need some more tools in your toolbox to actually make a woman feel attracted to you.

There are hundreds of ways that you can make a woman feel attracted to you as you are interacting with her.

When you have more ways to do that, you stop feeling nervous because you know she is going to feel attracted.

You can even be the one who is the chooser and give her the impression that you are assessing her.

You are taking the position that women usually take as being the chooser and you are flipping it.

The reason why you can do that is because she feels so attracted to you and it is obvious that she wants to get with you.

It drives women crazy, and they fall for the guy right away.

When you have used these ways and seen women feel attracted to you, the nerves start to go away until they are completely replaced with confidence.

You just know for sure that when you interact with a girl, she is going to feel attracted to you.

If you need help when it comes to attracting women, check out Attraction Mastery.