What Women Want vs. What They Get (Verified by Data)
By Dan Bacon, founder of Master Attraction
If you've ever heard a woman being asked what she wants in a man, you will notice that they usually playfully list off a whole list of things, such as “Oh, he has to be rich, tall, handsome, have six-pack abs,” and so forth.
Of course, some women list those things off in a serious manner.
They will say, “No, he really needs to be rich. The guy has to be rich. He has to be tall. He has to be very handsome and that's the only guy that I want.”
Yet, the reality is that the absolute majority of women will not get that because wanting is not getting.
For example, a woman may want to have a rich billionaire who is 6’5” with an athletic body who flies around in a private jet and has a luxury yacht.
But wanting is not getting.
She is only going to get a man like that if she is extremely lucky and hangs around in the right circles where she could possibly meet him.
Additionally, he is usually going to be an old man because the average age of a billionaire is 66 and the average age of a millionaire is 57.
And most of those men have already settled down and had a family.
Additionally, according to research over the last decade, women have become millionaires at twice the rate of men.
And finally, only 1.1% of the world's adult population are millionaires.
So women can go around saying, “Oh well look, if a guy wants to be with me, he has to be very rich and you know what, he also has to be 6 foot or taller,” even though most men in a country, say like America, are not 6 feet or taller.
For example, in the US, 14.5% of the adult males are 6 feet or taller.
So that is 85.5% of the remaining men who are less than 6 feet.
So a woman can go around saying those sorts of things and you have to be careful when you hear what women say to not take it as being absolute fact.
That hang on a second, in order to get a girlfriend these days—because hey, there are dating apps as well and I will get to that in a second—in order to get a girlfriend, you have to be rich and tall and muscular.
You have to be grinding man.
You have to be really successful and then you may be able to get a chance with one of these women.
But according to the Pew Research Center, 3 in 10 US adults (30%) say that they have ever used a dating site or app.
But only 9% of those report doing so in the past year.
So the numbers are actually quite low.
Additionally, when you actually look into the users of dating apps and what percentage are men and what percentage are women, you find that—oh hang on a second—most are men.
For example, on Tinder, 75% of the users are men and only 24% are women.
On Bumble, it is a bit better with 67.4% men and 32.6% women.
And with Hinge, 58.84% of the users are men.
Now do not forget about all the fake female accounts as well.
According to Penn State University, 10% of all dating profiles are fake.
And according to the Federal Trade Commission in the USA, 25 to 30% of Match.com members are using Match.com to attempt to perpetrate scams including romance scams, phishing schemes, fraudulent advertising and extortion scams.
So up to 30% of the users are just scammers.
So you basically have a situation where if a guy gets on a dating app, he is trying to compete with tens of thousands of other men for a very small percentage of women who—because they have so much choice—have really high standards.
And they start selecting men based on looks, on if he seems successful financially and so forth.
It is very difficult for the everyday guy to get anywhere.
But even for very good-looking men, they often find that the women they get are not that attractive.
The ones who are actually responding and trying to hook up with him are usually the less physically attractive women who are trying to get themselves a good-looking boyfriend to feel good about themselves, to show off to their family and friends and so forth.
It is usually very rare that beautiful women are on there and are active and are replying and so forth.
If you want a beautiful woman, you actually have to go over and talk to her in almost all cases.
Because she is not going to be on a dating app.
And she is not going to be chasing.
She is going to get on with her life and she wants a guy who is confident enough to walk over and talk to her and make her feel attracted and then move things forward.
And some guys may think, “Well hang on, in order to get that, I am going to have to be her dream man. I have to be tall and rich and muscular and so forth.”
But hang on a second.
If that is the case, then why do guys who are not taller than the woman get beautiful women?
Why are guys able to get with a woman who looks better than them?
What is going on?
Why does that happen so much?
What is that woman doing with him?
What is she doing with him?
How did he get her?
What is going on there?
And I can tell you with many of the women, if not all of the women that you are seeing on the screen now, if they were asked, “What sort of guy do you want?” they would have most likely listed off a whole bunch of things that that guy is not.
Yet why did she get with him then?
What is going on?
Well, there are so many reasons for it.
One of them being that women, generally speaking, place less importance on a man's physical appearance and more importance on emotional attractiveness.
And what that means is how you make her feel when you are interacting with her.
How does your behavior and your conversation style make her feel?
For example, if you are interacting with her and you are being insecure and nervous, then that is not going to be making her feel good.
Women are not attracted to fear and insecurity in men.
But if you are interacting with her and you are being confident and self-assured, then she is going to feel good.
Women are attracted to emotional strength.
They are attracted to confidence.
She is going to be looking at your confidence, experiencing it, sensing it, feeling it and she is going to feel good.
She is going to feel like, “Wow, this guy is confident. He is strong emotionally.”
And that makes her feel more feminine and girly in comparison to you.
And that makes her feel attracted to you.
That makes her feel emotionally attracted.
Then what happens from there—because she is feeling emotionally attracted, which is more important to the majority of women—she then starts looking at your physical appearance and other things about you, just details about you, in a more positive light.
She starts saying, “Well he has a big nose, but it is a sexy big nose,” or “He has a little nose, but it is a sexy little nose,” or “He has big ears, but it is cute. He has big ears, but you know what, I like it. He is sexy. I like him.”
She starts rationalizing it like that because she finds him emotionally attractive.
She is feeling turned on by him.
And the thing is, when it comes to wanting is not getting, the same thing applies to men.
Right, a lot of men come to me and say, “I want a pretty girlfriend.”
And if I ask them, “What are you doing about it?”
“Well, I am on dating apps.”
“Well, how is that going?”
“Not very well.”
Right, he is competing with tens of thousands of men for usually less attractive women or attractive women who are on there and not even replying to guys.
They are just getting a confidence boost from all the likes and the messages and so forth that they get, but they do not actually want to go on a date.
And that has also been proven by a study as well, that a lot of women actually use it as a confidence booster.
And a guy will just keep swiping and trying and trying.
Or he will not be on dating apps and he will be saying, “You know what, I am focusing on my career. I am going to work really hard and I am going to become successful and then I will think about women.”
Right, but I am someone that has been helping men with this since 2005.
Right, a long time.
And I have heard all the stories.
I have seen it all.
And guys have come to me with stories such as the guy has become a freaking doctor.
Right, he went through all of that.
He became a doctor, which is very difficult to do.
So many challenges to overcome.
So many tests to pass.
And he thought that if he became a doctor, then women will start throwing themselves at him.
But he still does not have a girlfriend.
Because when he talks to women, he just talks in a neutral way.
He does not understand that we men can look at women and find them attractive and the most important thing to us is how the woman looks.
Then secondary to that is, is she a nice woman, is she friendly and so forth, is she intelligent etc.
But even without that, a man would have sex with a woman just because she looks good.
She does not need to do anything else.
If she is down for it, yes, let's get it on.
But the absolute majority of women do not work the same way.
Yes, there are some women who are very focused on the physical and they are very sexual.
They might be sluts and want sex all the time and they look at the physical, they focus on it and so forth.
But those women are the minority.
The majority of women need to interact with a man and feel attracted to how he is behaving and how that makes her feel—what he is saying, how he is saying it and how that makes her feel.
And as I said, for example, if he is talking to her in an insecure way, in a self-doubting way, that is not going to make her feel attracted.
Because women are not attracted to fear and insecurity and self-doubt.
They are not attracted to emotional weakness.
But if the same guy was talking to her and he was confident, then she would feel a completely different thing when interacting with him.
She would feel impressed.
She would feel respect.
She would feel like okay, she can be the girl in this dynamic between him and her because he seems more confident than her.
And I am not talking about show-off sort of confidence, acting macho.
I am talking about real confidence, where no matter what she says, no matter what happens, he does not dip in confidence.
His confidence just remains.
Most guys when they are interacting with women, their confidence is all over the place.
Because what women will do as a test is that they will stop being reassuring during the interaction or they will stop contributing as much during the conversation or they will look away and pretend as though they are losing interest to see how the guy reacts.
How is he going to react now?
Is he going to start losing confidence?
Is he going to start panicking?
Is he going to start worrying that he is losing her interest now?
Is he going to seem nervous?
Because if so, then he does not have control over his emotions.
She can control him just by not being reassuring.
And that shows to her that he is not emotionally strong enough for a woman like her.
And I say a woman like her because you will also come across women who do not have much confidence at all.
And if you are just a little bit more confident than her—even though you are actually quite nervous—then she is going to be attracted to you.
However, women like that do not make you grow as a man.
If you are very nervous and insecure around a woman and she is more nervous and more insecure, then sure, you are going to be able to attract her.
But that is not a relationship that will make you grow as a man.
And what a lot of men often find is that with women like that, they will be insecure initially, but she will then gain confidence in the relationship and the man will lose confidence.
And she will end up gaining power over him and she will end up dumping him when he feels really vulnerable and insecure.
And he will be devastated and she will walk away feeling even more confident.
So the solution with women is not to just be insecure, be nervous and then see if you can hopefully get a woman who is a little bit more insecure than you and then you can keep her.
Because there is no guarantee that she is going to remain insecure.
And also she is not going to continue to feel attracted to a man who she feels is not confident.
Because at the end of the day, women are not attracted to emotional weakness in men.
However, men can feel attracted to a woman who is insecure, a woman who is shy.
Generally speaking, men do not need a woman to be strong and brave and protect them from the big bad world out there or to stand up for them in social situations and they can just hide behind her.
They are not looking for that instinctively and it is just not what they want.
Now that said, if you have a lot of confidence in yourself, you get rid of the nervousness, get rid of the insecurity and you attract a woman who is attractive physically and she is confident, then you become essentially a power couple.
You become powerful together.
When you enter social situations, people respect you.
When you are doing things as a couple—right, you are at a restaurant or you are checking into a hotel or you are doing something as a couple, you are ordering something, you are managing something as a couple—people respect you.
You are not a couple that gets walked all over.
You get things done more effectively.
You get respected.
People look up to youI.
It's a better life to be like that than to be a couple who is insecure and nervous and gets walked all over.
As a man, if you are insecure and nervous and the woman becomes more confident in the relationship, it is not fun to then be the insecure one holding on to her and clinging on to her when she is losing more and more attraction for you and eventually she cheats on you or dumps you because she is not attracted to emotional weakness.
That is not fun.
And another point to help you regarding insecurity is that you have to be careful what you click on on YouTube or TikTok.
Over the recent years, a lot of guys have come to me saying that all women these days are on dating apps and like there are these princes from Saudi Arabia and they are flying women from America or England or Canada or whatever—flying them over there on private jets and they are billionaires and so forth.
And you know, women are fighting over the top 5% of men.
Other guys cannot get a chance anymore because they get sucked into the YouTube or TikTok algorithm where there are all these negative videos where they are cherry-picking examples of women they have interviewed on the street who have said something when they are drunk or who have said something and they are gold digger type of women who really are saying what they feel.
And then they use that as evidence of, “See, all women just want a millionaire,” or like, “A guy who is maybe a billionaire or maybe famous or something,” or, “You have to have six-pack abs. If you do not have six-pack abs they do not want to have sex with you anymore.”
Because, “I heard a woman on TikTok say it.”
It is craziness.
You can get sucked into that negative part of TikTok and YouTube where it is completely delusional.
Yes, those women do exist.
Yes, that does happen.
But those women are the minority.
Because the reality is that the majority of men are not rich.
The majority of men are not 6 feet or taller.
The majority of women are not on dating apps.
And the way that women work is that if you interact with a woman in person and you are able to make her feel attracted to you for reasons other than your looks—so emotional attractiveness, such as being confident, using some flirting, being emotionally independent, using what I call playfully challenging humor—if you are able to do any of those things, women start to feel emotionally attracted to you.
They start feeling attracted to you in a way that is more important to them than physical appearance in almost all cases.
Of course, there are some women who are totally about the physical, who are totally about a man being a ball player or a rich guy and so forth.
Yes, that does happen, of course.
But the absolute majority of women, they just go with how they feel in the moment.
If they are interacting with you and they are feeling attracted based on how you are coming across—your behavior, how you are talking to them—they go with that.
And if that was not true, then you would not see guys with girlfriends and wonder, “How the heck did he get her? What is she doing with him? It does not make sense. She is taller than him. That guy does not even have big muscles. That guy does not seem rich. He is not wearing expensive clothes. He probably has a casual job or a part-time job or a low-paying office job. What is going on?”
Well, he was able to make her feel what is called emotional attraction.
And that is attraction to your behaviors, your traits, how you are behaving, how you are coming across, how you are talking to her and how that makes her feel.
Women are more interested in how you make them feel than how you look.
And that does not mean that looks do not matter.
A man can be good-looking and he will get looked at by women.
A man can be very good-looking and he will usually get hit on by women who are less attractive than him.
But he will often get looks from women who are attractive as well because he is really good-looking.
That does happen.
But that does not mean that no one else has got a chance.
Like you cannot make women feel attracted unless you are really tall, rich, very handsome and that is it.
I mean, and you have to be successful in life—even though the absolute majority of men who have a girlfriend or wife are not successful in life and are just getting by or living a normal life and they will never become rich.
But they are both in love, they are both happy and they stay together.
Now, to that, some guys often say, “Well hang on a second, if the woman meets a really good-looking guy or she meets a rich guy, then she is going to leave him.”
And of course, that can happen.
But what are the chances?
And is it only women who do that sort of thing or do men do it as well?
Because the way that it works is that if a man gets with a woman and he is in love with her, he gets into a relationship with her and marries her and then he becomes successful—sometimes he will start getting hit on by his secretary or his personal assistant.
Or he will start showing signs of wealth, such as driving a luxury car or having a lot of money in the way that he spends money and so forth.
And he will start attracting women who want to use him for his money.
Or he will start attracting women who look at him as being attractive because he is a successful man.
And in some cases, he will cheat on his wife and leave her for a younger woman.
Of course that can happen on both sides.
If a woman meets a guy when she is with a guy that is not that physically attractive and she meets a really handsome man and he is rich and successful.
But what are the chances of that happening?
It is there.
The chance is there.
The chance is there for freaking everything.
Anything can happen.
But you should not spend the rest of your life living in fear that if you get a pretty girlfriend then she is definitely going to leave you for a man who is better looking or who is rich.
The chances of that happening are very low and are basically almost zero if you know how to make a woman feel attracted to you and maintain the attraction in a relationship by being what women place more importance on, which is emotionally attractive.
If you know how to display the type of traits and behaviors that women find attractive, they do not want to leave you.
Because the chances of her finding another man who is also emotionally attractive and is not insecure or is not passive rather than assertive or is not neutral rather than knowing how to flirt or is not boring rather than knowing how to use humor and lighten up a mood, lighten up a situation between him and her—the chances of her coming across a guy who can do that are extremely low.
And if she is in love with her man and they have a family together—or if they do not have children and she is in love with her man, she likes being with him—what is she going to leave for?
The reality is that throughout history, billions of couples have remained together for life, even though around the woman there are other good-looking men and other men who are more successful.
The couple remained together and in love.
And the same thing happens today.
Yes, there are a lot of marriages that end in divorce.
But there are also a lot of marriages that do not.
The couple remains happy.
“But not now though, right? Divorce is way up?”
No.
Actually, according to an article in Forbes in 2024, the divorce rate has actually been going down and down and down for quite a long time.
There has actually been a significant decline in the number of divorces that have been happening.
And of course you do not have to get married.
There are relationships that break up and there are relationships that last.
And you can have a relationship that lasts.
You do not have to live in fear and think, “Well, the only way I am going to be able to have a relationship that lasts is to become rich and successful.”
But then you look at men who are rich and successful and they do not actually keep their relationships together all the time.
Because it is not about being rich and successful.
It is about how the woman feels when she is with you.
And that is why a woman can be very happy and in love and content with a man for life, even though he is not that successful.
Because she feels good when she is with him.
She likes how he makes her feel.
And by the way, if you want to learn more than 100 ways to make a woman feel sexually attracted to you and emotionally attracted to you, then head over to MasterAttraction.com.
The link is in the description.
I only opened Master Attraction last month and here is just some of what members are saying already.
Two of the members of the MAC—that is the Master Attraction Community, which you get access to when you are learning from the lessons—went out to meet women together and this member picked up a cute blonde and it was the first girl that he had ever picked up at a bar.
Another member went out and used the techniques that he had been learning just in the first month of the lessons that you will get, and he kissed six girls in one night and got three phone numbers.
Another couple of members met up and had all sorts of fun with girls all day.
All sorts of things were going on there.
And three other members caught up and they were approaching non-stop and getting various good results.
They were saying they managed to get a phone number and one of the guys overcame his approach anxiety.
Another guy used the technique that I teach in the first lesson on confidence and it resulted in his yoga instructor really wanting him—and him having to basically do nothing but ask her out—and he then hooked up with her that night.
And finally, another guy used the technique that I teach in the first lesson on confidence and he noticed that women were getting closer to him than usual.
They were showing him interest and giving him what he called “the look.”
And this is what happens when you use the technique.
Women feel magnetically attracted to you and it is taught in the first lesson on confidence at Master Attraction.
Alternatively, if you want to continue learning from me on YouTube right now, watch one of the videos on the screen.
- Attraction Mastery video lessons
- Master Attraction Community
