The Simple Challenge Women Put You Through Before Sex
By Dan Bacon, founder of Master Attraction
There’s a simple challenge that a woman will put you through before she opens up to having sex with you.
This applies when you're single or in a relationship.
Women will often do this as well when you ask for their phone number or try to set up a date with them.
They'll add in this little challenge to find something out about you that is very important to them.
So I'll tell you what the challenge is, what to say to pass the challenge, and what to do.
First, here's what the challenge is.
Essentially, a woman wants to see if you are in control of yourself or if she can control you.
If she can control you based on what she's saying or how she's behaving, then she sees that you're not emotionally strong enough for a woman of her level of emotional strength.
A simple way to sum it up in a very easy way is: what triggers you controls you.
What that essentially means is that if a woman is able to say something that makes you feel insecure, then she is in control.
If she's able to behave in a way that makes you doubt yourself or feel insecure, then she is in control.
If she's able to say or do something that triggers frustration or annoyance from you, then she is in control.
You're not in control of yourself.
You're reacting to what she is doing, and you're essentially relying on her to behave in a way that's going to make you feel confident or good about yourself in the moment.
If a woman gets that sense from a guy, then she's not going to feel attracted to him.
That said, in terms of you not being triggered by what a woman says or does and therefore not being controlled by her, it doesn't mean that a man has to be emotionless with no reactions as though he has no humanity to him and doesn't feel anything around a woman.
It just means that he is in control of his emotional state.
He isn't being led by her and lost or confused in the moment.
He is in control.
So an example is if you're talking to a woman in a bar or you're on a date with her or you're in a relationship with a woman—whatever it may be—and she asks you the question, “Do I make you feel nervous?”
She’s putting that bit of pressure on you in the moment.
How are you going to respond?
Are you going to start getting defensive and say, “Oh no, well I'm fine,” sort of thing?
Are you going to get annoyed that she's asking you a question like that—“No, I'm not nervous!”—and react that way?
Or are you going to be able to maintain control of your emotions and, better still, use it as an opportunity to create a flirtatious vibe between you and her—to attract her, to have a bit of a laugh together?
How are you going to be able to do that?
For example, if you're interacting with a woman and she says, “Do I make you feel nervous?” you can respond with something like:
“Not yet. You're welcome to keep trying.”
By responding in that way, he's playfully deflecting the challenge.
He's also showing her that he's not upset by what she said to the point where he’s saying, “Huh? You think that I'm nervous? Why would you think that?” or, “Of course not, I'm not nervous, I'm fine,” and trying to explain himself to the woman.
Essentially, he's trying to answer all of her questions and be a good boy and hopefully impress her.
He’s not being controlled by her.
Instead, he maintains control of his own emotions and has the presence of mind and awareness that women like to be flirted with and they like to have a guy who can playfully challenge them back.
He’s able to say something like, “Not yet. You're welcome to keep trying.”
She then sees that, okay, he's actually in control of himself and he's able to playfully mess with her in return.
That makes her feel like, “Okay, this guy is obviously emotionally strong enough for me.”
He may actually be more emotionally strong.
That naturally makes her feel attracted to him.
Another example regarding nervousness and this challenge that women put you through before they drop their guard and open up to you is if a woman asks you, “Are you nervous?”
A guy who doesn't understand how attraction works and is being controlled by the woman in the moment will want to explain himself and say, “No, I'm not nervous, I'm fine,” or something like that.
A guy who understands that women want to be with a man who isn't going to be controlled by her—but at the same time can be loving, can flirt with her, and not be butthurt about her comment—will be able to say something like:
“Why? Are you trying to make me nervous?”
With that type of response, he flips the question into a playful challenge back to her.
He’s suddenly putting her on the spot.
“Why? Are you trying to make me nervous?”
That obviously demonstrates that he's not nervous, because he's not trying to explain himself now.
He's not acting like he's really confident and so forth, or seeming upset and sensitive now that she would ask him something like that.
Instead, he's emotionally stronger than her and he has the emotional intelligence to be able to react and respond in that way.
That shows her that he is emotionally stronger than her.
It’s for this sort of reason that many guys have come to me over the years saying, “Hey Dan, I can pick up women who are like sixes or sevens, or maybe fives out of ten.
But when I interact with a woman who's a 7.5 or an eight or a nine, I suddenly start getting nervous or I can't get anywhere with her. She doesn't seem to be interested.”
Because the way that it usually works is that the less physically attractive the woman, the easier her challenge is going to be before she drops her guard.
In some cases, she won't challenge at all because she's not that attractive and she's just hoping to get a guy.
If a woman is attractive, she doesn't want to get herself into a situation where she's in a relationship with a guy who doesn't feel like he's good enough for her and needs her to be constantly reassuring him of her interest in order for him to feel confident around her.
If she gets into a relationship with a guy like that, he will almost certainly become insecure, jealous, overprotective, and may even begin to be controlling.
That's not going to be a fun experience for her in a relationship.
Sometimes it’s even a bit scary for the woman.
If a woman is physically attractive, she almost always will want a guy who's more emotionally strong than her.
So she doesn't have to be really careful to hopefully make sure that she's saying all the right things and behaving in exactly the right way to make sure that he's going to feel confident and okay in the moment.
The irony is that if you are a man who can feel confident, fine, and okay in the moment without the woman having to reassure you of her interest by always trying to say the right things and so forth, then it actually brings out a better side in the woman.
She behaves so much better.
She's so much more respectful of you.
So much more appreciative.
Because she knows how difficult it is to come across a guy who she cannot control or walk all over.
A guy who isn't like fragile glass in terms of, “Well, she's got to say the right things around him, she's got to behave in a reassuring way, otherwise he's going to get nervous and insecure, and he might even get frustrated and at times get a bit angry because she's not being nice and reassuring toward him.”
But when a man is confident himself and doesn't rely on a woman—when he's in control of his own emotions—the woman then respects him and wants to treat him well.
She knows that it would be her loss if they weren't together, because she's going to find it extremely difficult to find another man whom she cannot control.
By the way, if you enjoyed this video and want to get an exclusive lesson on emotional intelligence with 41 examples of what to say to display emotional intelligence in a way that attracts women sexually and romantically, then head over to masterattraction.com.
At Master Attraction, I teach you all of the traits that make women feel sexually and romantically attracted to you.
When you start learning from the lessons, you also get access to the Master Attraction Community.
I only recently opened Master Attraction and here's what members are saying already.
Two of the members of the MAC—that's the Master Attraction Community, which you get access to when you're learning from the lessons—went out to meet women together and this member picked up a cute blonde.
It was the first girl that he'd ever picked up at a bar.
Another member went out and used the techniques that he'd been learning just in the first month of the lessons that you'll get, and he kissed six girls in one night and got three phone numbers.
Another couple of members met up and had all sorts of fun with girls all day.
All sorts of things were going on there.
Three other members caught up and they were approaching nonstop and getting various good results.
They were saying they managed to get a phone number and one of the guys overcame his approach anxiety.
Another guy used the technique that I teach in the first lesson on confidence and it resulted in his yoga instructor really wanting him.
He basically had to do nothing but ask her out, and he then hooked up with her that night.
Finally, another guy used the technique that I teach in the first lesson on confidence and he noticed that women were getting closer to him than usual.
They were showing him interest and giving him what he called “the look.”
This is what happens when you use the technique.
Women feel magnetically attracted to you, and it's taught in the first lesson on confidence at Master Attraction.
Alternatively, if you want to continue learning from me on YouTube right now, watch one of the videos on the screen.
See you in the next video.
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