How to Talk to Girls (Don't Ask Questions!)
One of the biggest mistakes that guys make when attempting to talk to girls is asking question after question after question.
A guy might ask, "How are you? What's your name? What are you drinking? Where are you from?".
It feels like a one-way interrogation and the woman feels like she is being interrogated.
When a man does this, her guard starts to go up because it doesn't create a two-way connection.
She also gets the sense that he doesn't really know what he's doing and he's just hoping something will eventually "stick".
The way to actually talk to girls in a way that makes them feel attracted to you is to add something before a question.
You must make a statement first and then ask the question.
Why Statements Create the Spark
Making a statement first gives the woman information about you and shows that you have a personality.
It gives her something to work with so she can expand on the conversation.
If a woman is already very attracted to a man, she might help him keep the conversation going even if he just asks simple questions.
But if she sees him as a "maybe," she isn't going to help him initially; she wants to see if he can create a spark first.
By sharing his opinion or how he feels, he shows that he is a confident man who isn't afraid of her disagreeing with him.
Some guys are afraid that if they say something and she doesn't agree, they will lose their chance.
That is not how it works at all; women don't want to see a guy faking it or trying to get their approval.
How to Handle Up and Down Moments
If a guy says, "I'm loving the vibe in here," and she says she hates the place, he should not panic and change his mind to agree with her.
Instead, he should maintain his confidence and ask her playfully, "Really? What don't you like about this place?".
What attracts women is when a man can handle those moments where they aren't 100% agreeing.
He can even use playfully challenging humor by calling her a "party pooper".
This shows he has the courage to push back rather than being a needy guy who just says, "Yeah, I guess it's not that good".
Women are attracted to men who can maintain their own cool and don't need her validation to feel okay.
Breaking the "Outsider" Vibe at a Bar
When a man asks question after question, he looks like an outsider who doesn't feel welcome in the woman's world.
He is hoping that if he keeps asking, they will eventually let him in.
Instead, he should make a statement that shows he is already having a good time.
He could say, "I'm out with some friends tonight to relax and have a few drinks. How about yourself? What brings you out tonight?".
This shows he is a charming, charismatic guy who doesn't need to put on an act of being a "super party guy".
He is simply a man who is comfortable in the social situation and is inviting her into his world.
The Importance of Leading the Conversation
Some women a man meets will be insecure, anxious, or shy and they won't know what to say.
If he just makes a statement and stands there, it creates an awkward silence because she might struggle to continue.
When he asks a question after making a statement, he is helping her into the conversation, which is very charming.
He can even use a bit of "playfully challenging humor" to get a laugh.
For example, tell her he likes her dress and then ask, "Are you more of a dress type of girl or a pants suit type of girl?".
This is much better than asking where she bought the dress, which leads to boring, dead-end answers.
Talking to Girls at Work or University
If a man sees a girl at work or school, he shouldn't just interrogate her about her major or what floor she works on.
He should be courageous enough to share something about himself first to make her feel comfortable revealing things about herself.
He might say, "I work on the eighth floor in accounting. How about you?" or "I've got a few months left on my engineering degree; it’s been a challenge but I’ve enjoyed it. What about you?".
This gives her a sense of his personality rather than just facts.
If he’s seen her around before, he shouldn't pretend he hasn't noticed her.
A confident guy can say, "I’ve seen you around, but we haven’t had a chance to chat yet".
This shows he isn't worried about what she thinks, which is exactly what makes a woman feel turned on as the conversation continues.
Avoid the Interrogation Trap
If a guy notices she is starting to lose interest, he shouldn't start panicking and asking more questions to save the interaction.
When he gives information about himself, like what he did over the weekend, she feels more comfortable sharing.
If he says he went to the beach and she says she doesn't like the beach, he should just roll with it.
Ask her what she prefers to do instead; everything is still cool and he hasn't lost his confidence.
Simple mistakes in how he talks can stuff up his opportunities with women who actually did like him.
If a man wants to know exactly what to say to make women want him sexually and how to avoid the friend zone, he needs to lead.
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