How to Be Confident When Getting Back Into Dating to Get Results

The most important thing for men when they're getting back into dating is confidence.

I'm going to give you four tips that will make you feel more confident when you're getting back into dating or just dating women in general.

If you don't know what I'm about to tell you now, you'll feel insecure when talking to a woman that you find attractive.

It will be an unnecessary insecurity.

You don't have to feel insecure.

You can feel confident instead by understanding what I'm about to tell you now.

Tip 1: Don't try to wing it

Know how to make her feel attracted.

I'll give you an example of how you can make a woman feel attracted, but before I do that, I'll point out why you shouldn't wing it.

When you go on a date with a woman that you find attractive, it is very easy for her.

She looks good, so you are interested.

She's being friendly, so you are even more interested.

But it doesn't work the same way for women.

With women, you need to be able to make them feel attracted.

You've got to have something that you can do that makes a woman feel attracted.

What can you do?

You're just talking to her and getting along with her, but is that going to make her feel attracted?

In most cases, no.

Instead, what's going to happen is she's just going to see you in a friendly way.

You're going to be in the friend zone.

There will be no spark.

You may be getting along with her and she may think that you're a good person, but she's not feeling a sexual spark with you.

So, when it comes to the end of the date and you text her, she says, "Sorry, I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now."

Or she says, "Sorry, it was nice to meet you, but I don't think we'll be a match."

Or, "Sorry, I'm just really busy at the moment and I don't have time for dating."

Essentially, she doesn't want to directly say, "Hey, I didn't feel attracted to you."

You're a nice guy and you got along, but there was no spark.

Some women will say that, but most women will beat around the bush.

They'll say something else like, "Sorry, I'm just not interested or it doesn't seem like we're a good match."

Even if you look good, this can happen.

Some guys will go on a date looking good, with a good job, having worked out, and she then says that she just sees him as a friend.

He wonders, "How can that be possible?"

The approach that he would have been using was just to get along with her.

He may have cracked some jokes on the date and she may have laughed, but it's not the type of humor that makes women feel attracted.

This is something that I had to personally figure out many years ago because I would talk to women and get along with them, but then the conversation would die.

If I was talking to them in a bar, I didn't know how to keep the conversation going and keep it interesting.

I'd ask the woman what her name was and what she does for a living.

I would ask, "Oh, how long you been doing that?" or "Do you enjoy your work?" and all these basic sort of questions.

I'd tell her I work in an office and then the conversation would start to dry up.

Or if I was getting along with the woman and the conversation continued, she just wasn't interested.

There was just no spark for her.

But from my perspective, I was feeling a spark.

I was feeling attracted to her because a man's attraction is very simple.

She looks good, so it's already a yes.

If she's friendly as well, that is fantastic.

But even if she looks good and isn't that friendly, I still want to have sex with her.

It's very simple for men.

But with women, you need to be able to make them feel sparks of attraction for you.

The way that you do that is by displaying non-physical traits that trigger attraction inside of women.

One of the things that I figured out by observing guys who are naturally good with women is that they weren't just making jokes or trying to be funny.

When they were using humor, they were playfully challenging the woman.

They were playfully messing with her.

I noticed that the women would feel so attracted to them.

When I thought about it, I realized what was going on.

The guy had the confidence to be able to playfully challenge her and playfully mess with her.

Rather than just trying to crack a joke and be funny and hope she likes him, he had the confidence to playfully mess with her.

Therefore, she realized that he wasn't desperate.

He wasn't hoping to get a chance by putting on a big song and dance for her.

He wasn't putting on a big performance like, "Look, I'm a funny guy now, do you like me?"

Instead, because he wasn't needy to hopefully get a result, he could playfully mess with her.

He knew that she would like him because it takes confidence and emotional independence to do that.

Emotional independence is the opposite of emotional dependence, which is neediness.

He's an emotionally independent guy because how confident he feels is based on what he thinks, not on what she says or does.

As a result, he can playfully mess with a woman in a moment like that.

When I figured that out, women suddenly felt attracted to me.

It was a night and day sort of thing.

It was a complete flip of what I was experiencing where I was talking to women and they weren't interested after 30 seconds.

Suddenly, I was kissing and having sex with attractive women and getting into relationships when I felt like it.

I was displaying the traits that actually make women feel attracted rather than trying to wing it.

You shouldn't just walk up and talk to a girl and hope she likes you for some reason.

In almost all cases, you have to make her feel attracted to you.

You've got to display some traits that make her feel attracted to you.

Playfully challenging humor is one of those traits.

For example, a guy goes on a date with a woman and she says that she works as a dental assistant.

He says, "Oh, really? How long you been doing that?" and he has a nice conversation with her about it.

It's fine to have a nice conversation with a woman if you just want to be friendly.

But if you want to make her feel attracted, what I noticed the naturals would do is playfully mess with her.

So, she says that she works as a dental assistant.

Rather than saying, "Oh, yeah, that's cool," you playfully mess with her.

You say, "Ah, dental assistant. All right, I've got dentures. Can you tell?"

She then feels a bit playfully challenged in the moment because she has to figure out whether you have dentures or not.

She then finds out that you're just kidding and it's something funny between you and her.

What's important is that she notices that you're willing to say that sort of thing to her.

You're willing to risk playfully messing with her in the moment.

You're not a guy who's on his best behavior trying to say everything nicely to hopefully get a chance.

Likewise, you could say something like, "You look like you'd be a mean dental assistant shoving that vacuum thing down people's throat and making them choke."

You add, "That's you, isn't it?"

You just playfully mess with her about the vacuum thing sucking out all the saliva.

You've got the guts and the courage to do that.

You're not needy to the point where you're being on your best behavior.

Women don't want to get the sense that you're trying to get them to like you enough to give you a chance because it makes you seem lower status.

Women don't want to trade down when they get with a guy; they want to feel like they're trading up.

With playfully challenging humor, you're just doing it in a playful way.

You're not being rude to her and saying, "You seem like you'd be a bad dental assistant."

You're not trying to hurt her or be mean.

It's just playfully challenging to the point where you can say, "You seem like you'd be a mean dental assistant, so I wouldn't want to get in the chair with you there."

Because she knows that you're only joking, she's just going to laugh.

Some women will respond to the challenge and say, "No, no, I'm really nice."

Another example when she says she works as a dental assistant is to say, "Dental assistant. Hey, so how tough are you on people who skip flossing?"

Or you could ask, "Ever call someone out for pretending they floss?"

She will usually laugh at that point because people often lie to the dentist about flossing.

Essentially, you're playfully challenging her in a light way.

This shows her that you're not being on your best behavior hoping to be liked.

You're so non-needy that you can relax and say things like that.

Here's another one on the subject of flossing: "So, how many times a day do you have to give the 'you need to start flossing' speech?"

Or you could say, "Interesting. Ever met someone who actually flosses every day or is that just a myth?"

I'm including light challenges because I know a lot of men are uncomfortable challenging women and worry about rejection.

But here is one that is more of my classic playfully challenging humor.

She says she works as a dental assistant and you say, "All right, so tell the truth. Do you actually floss every day or do you just tell everyone else to do it?"

She will then smile and laugh because you're putting her on the spot.

Another one I would personally say is, "Oh, no. So, if we start dating, you're not going to force me to floss, are you? I brush my teeth. That's enough."

Because I'm saying it with that tone of voice, a woman knows that I'm playfully messing with her.

If she were to say, "Oh, no, you've got to floss," I would say, "Yeah, of course I floss. Maybe once or twice a week, but do you really have to do it every day?"

I'd add, "Do you behave like a dental assistant out of the dentist's office? I don't want to be forced to floss every day."

It's also a little bit flirtatious because I'm flirting about the idea of her and I becoming a couple.

Because I'm saying it in an attractive, confident way, she's going to feel good about the idea of potentially dating.

What's important is that she's going to be feeling sparks of attraction rather than just a friend zone vibe.

As a man, you don't need a woman to be using playfully challenging humor for you to feel attracted to her.

However, women need to figure out if they find you attractive by seeing your non-physical traits.

Here is another very light challenge to show you're not just being on your best behavior.

She says, "I work as a dental assistant," and you say, "So is it true that you can tell a lot about a person by their teeth? Asking for a friend, by the way."

She's going to feel lightly playfully challenged because you're essentially talking about yourself while pretending to ask for a friend.

She will likely tell you that yes, she can tell a lot about a person by their teeth.

If she tells you stories about clients' teeth matching their lives, you can say, "But as you can tell by my teeth, amazing teeth, amazing man."

That is going to make her laugh because she sees you're confident enough to say that, but she knows you're joking.

Finally, another example is to squint with your eyes and smile and say, "I knew it. You've been assessing my teeth this whole time, haven't you?"

Then smile and say, "I have great teeth. Thank you very much."

She is then likely going to give you a compliment.

Importantly, the woman sees that you're not desperate or trying to be on your best behavior.

Additionally, because you have the confidence and masculinity to do that, she actually feels feminine in comparison to your masculinity.

She feels like you're a stronger force than her in that moment.

This is important for sexual attraction because women want to feel like the man is a more powerful force than them.

It doesn't mean acting like a tough guy, but emotionally she doesn't want to feel like you're weaker than her.

Playfully challenging humor is just one trait, but it's the best one for beginners.

When I started using it, I was getting results even before I was fully confident.

It became fun to interact with women and make them feel attracted rather than panicking and pedaling to keep a conversation going.

Tip 2: Have independent confidence

Another thing you need to know is that women look to see if a man has independent or dependent confidence.

For most men, they don't care if the woman isn't confident; if she looks good, they are interested.

But women want to know if you have dependent confidence or independent confidence.

Dependent confidence means that you can only feel confident if she's being reassuring of her interest.

To find out if you have independent confidence, she'll show some interest and then pull back.

She will disagree with some of the things you're saying and seem a bit disappointed to see if you remain confident.

Are you only going to feel confident if she is giving you thumbs up and being agreeable?

If she says, "Well, that's weird that you said that. I really disagree with that," how are you going to react?

Are you going to start to panic and feel like you're losing her?

If you start to think like that, it's going to show in your body language and she's going to sense it.

She'll see the panic in your eyes and the shifting of your body.

She'll realize that you don't have independent confidence.

Women don't want a guy with dependent confidence because he will likely become clingy and needy in a relationship.

A woman wants to be able to look up to her man and see that he is confident in his value regardless of what she says.

Understand that the tests are going to come, so you can enjoy them as an opportunity to make her feel more attracted.

When you don't crumble when a woman tests you, she feels so much more attracted to you.

She will smile more and feel respectful towards your strength.

You can also enjoy it by understanding that most guys can't handle it when an attractive woman does that.

If you can handle it, know that you are really going to stand out.

The woman senses that you have the type of confidence that she and other women are looking for.

Tip 3: Understand that most guys have no idea how to attract women

This puts you at a huge advantage when you do know how to attract women.

I noticed that most guys are just standing around looking at women or winging it.

In most cases, they get rejected or walk away with nothing happening.

I'm 5'9, which isn't tall, and I would notice that tall, handsome men were standing around not getting results.

There's a member of my community who is 5'8 and other guys look at him wondering how he pulls hot women.

They don't know how to make women feel attracted.

Guys learning from me are getting results like having sex on the first night or getting numbers in the gym.

When you know how to make women feel attracted, it puts you at a huge advantage because most guys are just winging it.

Most guys assume that women operate the same way they do, with an instant yes or no decision based on looks.

But that's not how women work.

Women have to figure out whether they feel attracted to you as they interact with you.

If you display confidence, you're going to be attractive to her.

If you display insecurity, you're going to be unattractive to her.

Many guys get confused because they look good on paper but fail on the date because they display insecurity.

Then she goes on a date with a guy who has an average job and average looks, but he flirts and makes her feel turned on.

He creates a sexual vibe and displays non-physical traits that make her feel attracted.

Most women place more importance on things that you can't see with the naked eye.

Tip 4: Women are happy to forgive most mistakes if you make them feel attracted

Making women feel attracted to you solves most dating problems.

If she feels attracted, she wants to be with you and doesn't want to lose her opportunity, so she is more forgiving.

If you don't know how to make them feel attracted, they are more judgmental and critical.

One of the non-physical traits that is attractive to women is determination.

Sometimes a guy isn't 100% confident, but he's determined to ask her out or initiate a first kiss.

Once you initiate a first kiss, things start to heat up and the connection begins.

If a guy is not 100% confident, say he's 70% confident, but displays other traits, the woman is often willing to get with him.

She likes how she feels around him and doesn't want to lose her opportunity.

Some women will reject him because they want a guy more confident than her, but many will overlook it if attraction is there.

That's what happened for me initially; I wasn't 100% confident, but I was still getting results because I was making women feel attracted in other ways.

Eventually though, I became 100% confident.

I just have that bulletproof confidence around women where no matter what they say or do, I'm confident.

It's just the way that it is.

As a result, women just want you so much more.

They respect you so much more.

They feel so much more attracted to you.

If you're displaying other traits that make women feel attracted, they start to feel an irresistible attraction for you.

For most women, it's the attraction experience that they've been looking for all their life but haven't been able to find.

This is because most guys crumble under a few tests from them.

Most guys struggle to use flirting correctly to create a sexual vibe and tension between themselves and the woman.  

When you're able to flirt with a woman, it's not only important initially for dating.

She starts to feel those sexual sparks for you.

She also knows that if you're able to flirt, then you're a guy who's going to be able to keep the spark alive in a relationship.

So, a relationship has a better chance of lasting in the long run.

These are the sort of things that are important to women in terms of attraction.

If you want to learn how to display all of the traits that make women feel sexually and romantically attracted to you, I recommend that you watch my Attraction Mastery video lesson series.

The guys who've been watching the lessons and applying it are getting amazing results.

I emphasize applying it because some members in my community have applied techniques initially and gotten results.

Later on, they forgot all about it or stopped doing it, and they struggled to get results.

They were then reminded to get back on track and they started to get results again.

So if you want to get results with women, you've got to be displaying traits that make them feel attracted.

When you do that, it solves most dating problems.

Women want to be with you.

They don't want to lose their opportunity with you.

So, it becomes so much easier.