How Men Talk Women Out of Wanting Sex (She Wanted it, But Then…)
By Dan Bacon, founder of Master Attraction
A lot of men talk women out of having sex with them without even realizing it.
So the woman is interacting with him, and in her mind, she's a yes for sex.
She's looking at him and she's imagining kissing him and having sex with him and she wants it.
But the way that he then begins to behave makes her start to feel like, actually, I don't want to have sex.
I'm not interested anymore.
So when he tries to move in for a hug, she pulls back.
Or if he tries to kiss her, she moves away.
Or if he texts her, she doesn't reply.
If he asks her out on a date, she says no or she doesn't reply.
And he's thinking, "What's going on?"
Because when he was first interacting with her at the start, she seemed very interested, right?
She may have been touching him, she may have been flirting with him, she may have seemed really interested.
So what's the problem?
Because he hasn't done anything wrong.
He hasn't been rude to her or anything like that.
What's going on?
Well, what I'm going to explain to you in this video will help you and will fix it for you.
But it's not something that most guys know.
Most guys look on at other guys who are able to do this properly and they just wonder what the heck is going on.
How is he doing that?
What's he saying?
How is he making her feel so attracted and interested?
Why are they kissing now?
Why are they walking off hand in hand?
Why has she gone home with him?
Or why is she in a relationship with him now?
What's going on?
What is he missing?
He just doesn't get it.
So, what are the mistakes that a guy makes that cause a woman to go from being a yes to sex to a no?
Well, one of the mistakes is that when a guy is interacting with a woman, in his mind he feels attracted to her because she looks good.
And she might be friendly as well.
So he's thinking, yep, I'm good to go.
And she doesn't need to do anything else other than that.
And he's fine, right?
She can say whatever she wants to say.
He doesn't really care what she does for a living.
He doesn't care what her hobbies are in most cases.
Good to go.
Let's start kissing.
Let's get it on.
Let's start a relationship.
I'm good.
So he'll then assume that women behave in the same way.
Right, if she's sitting there or standing there talking to him and she seems friendly and she's continuing the conversation, he assumes that she's on for sex.
And that results in him thinking, well I don't really need to do anything.
I've just got to talk to her and just have a friendly chat and this is it.
We're good.
We're good to go.
But that results in the guy approaching the conversation in a very neutral way, where he's just behaving like a friend.
And he misses the chance to create sexual tension with her.
And what happens is that when a guy behaves like that, the woman feels like there isn't much of a spark between him and her.
Because women place more importance on emotional attractiveness.
And what that means is that women place more importance on how you make them feel when you're interacting with them, based on how you're behaving and how you're talking to them.
So for example, if you're talking to a woman and you're flirting with her and creating a sexual vibe, then she's going to feel girly and feminine based on you flirting with her.
She's going to feel flattered.
She's going to feel charmed based on the flirting.
And if you're also creating a sexual vibe, she's going to start to feel turned on.
She's going to be feeling you.
She's going to be like, yeah, it's on.
I'm feeling it.
She's going to be feeling that.
But if the way that you're behaving is just neutral, where you just want to have a conversation with her and get along with her, have a bit of small talk or talk about something serious and just keep it friendly and neutral and so forth, then she's going to be feeling something completely different.
She's going to be feeling like she could be talking to her brother or a coworker or a cousin or something like that.
Or just a male friend where there's no sexual tension, there's no sexual desire.
It's just, let's get along, let's just have a conversation and get along.
And what's important to point out here is that a woman doesn't have to flirt with a man and create a sexual vibe with a man in order for him to want her.
Because men place more importance—or the most importance—on a woman's physical appearance.
And she doesn't really need to do anything other than that.
Just look good and be friendly, be nice.
We're good, right?
He doesn't need anything to feel attracted.
He doesn't need anything else in almost all cases.
And likewise with another trait, if a woman is shy and a bit insecure and nervous, in almost all cases the guy is not going to be turned off by that.
He's not going to say, oh well look, I need you to be very confident and strong and brave.
I need you to be stronger like a man.
I need someone whom I can look up to and I can feel safe as we go through the world.
I can sort of hide behind you and so forth.
A guy's not looking for that from a woman.
But if she's confident, great.
If she's nervous and shy, great.
He doesn't need anything from her.
He doesn't need to be protected by her.
But women need that feeling of protection from a man.
And they can't get that if they feel like they're more confident than the guy.
Right, they're interacting with a guy and he seems nervous and unsure of himself.
But she feels confident in the moment.
She feels secure.
Hang on a second, what sort of dynamic is that now?
She's stronger than him.
She feels like a big sister now.
That's not attractive.
Another way that men unknowingly talk women out of wanting to have sex with them is by being too nice or agreeable.
So there's nothing wrong with a man being nice to a woman.
And there's nothing wrong with agreeing with what a woman says at times.
If you agree with something, you can agree with it.
But the problem is when a man is acting nicer than he really is or wants to be to hopefully be liked by the woman.
Or he's agreeing with things that he doesn't agree with to hopefully be liked by the woman.
Because there's a big difference between being likable as a man and being sexually attractive to a woman based on how you're behaving, based on how you're interacting with her, based on how you're talking to her.
For example, a likable trait is kindness.
Whereas a sexually attractive trait is confidence.
Likewise, another likable trait is that a man is reliable.
That's great.
He can be dependable and trustworthy.
Fantastic.
But a trait that's going to make her feel sexually attracted is flirting, where flirting actually creates sexual tension.
It turns the woman on.
So what happens is that a lot of men end up feeling confused because the reality is that most women are more selective when it comes to who they want to have sex with.
Because they're looking for different things.
They're looking for things in men that men don't typically look for in women.
For example, confidence, leadership ability, dominance and so on.
Now some guys feel a bit uncomfortable with that word dominance because they mistakenly assume that you need to be a really dominant guy.
You just have to dominate everything, dominate her all the time, just be Mr dominant.
But you don't need to be.
Instead, she just needs to see that you're more dominant than her.
You're not less dominant than her.
In other words, she can't just walk all over you.
You can actually assert yourself.
You can actually take the lead.
You can lead the way.
You can pull her in to you and kiss her.
You can be the sort of man that she's going to feel girly in comparison to.
And that doesn't mean that you have to be really macho and act super masculine or anything like that.
But you just don't be like her.
Don't take on her behaviors to hopefully get along with her.
And don't be neutral and just nice and agreeable to hopefully be liked.
Like, I'll just be as nice as I can.
I'll treat her as nicely as I can, be Mr reassuring and Mr respectful about everything and then she'll like me.
Yes, she'll like you.
But there's a difference between a woman liking you and her feeling sexually attracted and turned on by you.
And sometimes you'll be in a situation where a woman is feeling some sexual attraction for you and at that point, she's a yes for sex.
But then you're just focusing on being likable, which makes her feel like yeah, you're nice and seem like a good guy but there really isn't much of a spark there.
She's not feeling very turned on about it.
Or you start displaying traits that turn women off sexually, such as being insecure, nervous, self-doubting and so on.
Which don't turn men off in almost all cases.
Right, most men do not care if the woman is insecure, self-doubting and shy.
And in fact, they actually feel more manly around women like that, which makes them feel even better about themselves and more interested in the woman.
Because then they feel like, yeah, I'm the man.
She feels really shy around me.
Yeah, cool.
But a woman doesn't want to feel like that around a man, where she is quote unquote the man.
And she's dominating him and now he's just going to get down on his knees and so forth.
She doesn't want to feel like that.
She wants to feel like, wow, this man is stronger than me emotionally.
She can relax now and be the woman around him.
She can open up and surrender and really enjoy the sex because he is emotionally stronger than her.
So the thing is, it can seem quite complicated to some guys, but at the end of the day, it's very simple.
And that is, if you want to have sex with women, all you have to do is display attractive traits and shoot your shot.
Rather than just displaying traits that make women like you as a person or think you're a nice person.
Which is totally fine.
Of course, be a good person, be a good guy, treat her well, no problem.
But you have to be able to display traits that make her feel sexually attracted.
When you do that, all you then need to do is shoot your shot.
And in her mind, it's a yes.
So she happily goes along with it.
She wants it.
She opens up to you and has sex.
And by the way, if you want to learn more than 100 ways to make a woman feel sexually attracted to you and emotionally attracted to you, then head over to masterattraction.com.
I only opened Master Attraction last month and here's just some of what members are saying already.
Two of the members of the MAC—that's the Master Attraction Community, which you get access to when you're learning from the lessons—went out to meet women together, and this member picked up a cute blonde.
And it was the first girl that he'd ever picked up at a bar.
Another member went out and used the techniques that he'd been learning just in the first month of the lessons that you'll get, and he kissed six girls in one night and got three phone numbers.
Another couple of members met up and had all sorts of fun with girls all day.
All sorts of things were going on there.
And three other members caught up and they were approaching non-stop and getting various good results.
They were saying they managed to get a phone number, and one of the guys overcame his approach anxiety.
Another guy used the technique that I teach in the first lesson on confidence and it resulted in his yoga instructor really wanting him.
And him having to basically do nothing but ask her out.
And he then hooked up with her that night.
And finally, another guy used the technique that I teach in the first lesson on confidence, and he noticed that women were getting closer to him than usual.
They were showing him interest and giving him what he called “the look.”
And this is what happens when you use the technique.
Women feel magnetically attracted to you and it's taught in the first lesson on confidence at Master Attraction.
Alternatively, if you want to continue learning from me on YouTube right now, watch one of the videos on the screen.
See you in the next video.
- Attraction Mastery video lessons
- Master Attraction Community
