Another Guy is Talking to the Girl I Like: How to Handle it

By Dan Bacon, founder of Master Attraction

Have you ever been talking to a woman that you really liked, and another guy entered the conversation, and you then started to doubt yourself and feel nervous and lose confidence because you worried that she might like him more now?

As a result, you started to withdraw.

You started to pull back a little bit and go a bit quiet or just feel nervous, and the woman then noticed that and started to lose interest.

Sometimes that can happen to a guy.

Even if a woman mentions another guy who likes her, suddenly he starts to worry.

Suddenly he starts to think, “Well, maybe she likes him more. Maybe he's cooler. Maybe he looks better. Maybe he's more confident. Maybe he's this or that.”

As a result, the guy then starts to feel insecure, self-doubting, nervous, and he withdraws.

The woman notices that he seems a little bit rejected now, a bit worried.

He's a bit deflated in his confidence.

He's lost that confidence, that presence that was attracting her.

As a result, the connection between them starts to feel awkward.

For example, if another guy is in the interaction and he remains confident, and you then become nervous, by contrast he seems more attractive compared to you now because women are not attracted to emotional weakness.

They're attracted to emotional strength.

The guys who connect with women and attract them and get results do so with confidence or with bravery, where the guy either remains confident because he's a truly confident guy or he's just brave enough to stick with it and give himself a chance, continue on, believe that he can get a result and just stay with the interaction, remain feeling as confident as he can.

Even though he may be doubting himself a little bit, he bravely continues.

He has the courage to do that.

He keeps going, whereas the other guy doesn't have that type of bravery or courage.

He starts to doubt himself.

He starts to withdraw.

The thing is, to attract a woman and get with her, you don't have to be the loudest, most macho guy who's showing off in front of other guys or anything like that.

Instead, just having a relaxed confidence in yourself where you don't see other guys as threats or as competition for her is enough to make yourself just relax in the moment and not worry.

But if you see other guys as being competition and worry that the woman will be feeling more attracted because, “Geez, his hair is cooler than mine,” or “Yeah, he's been working out, he's got big muscles,” or “His jawline looks great compared to mine,” if you focus on that, you'll naturally start to doubt yourself.

You'll naturally start to feel insecure.

You'll set off those thoughts in your mind.

As a result, the confident energy that you had when it was just you and her—where she seemed interested, you were getting along, and you felt like you had a chance with her so you were feeling good—all that just starts to disappear and she senses it.

That’s very important to women.

It's not important to most men.

When, for example, they're interacting with two women and they find one of the women attractive, and she seems to be doubting herself a bit but he finds her physically attractive, and the other girl seems confident but he doesn't find her as attractive, in most cases the guy isn't going to care that this woman is losing confidence in herself.

He finds her attractive.

In many cases, he's going to be happy about the fact that she's losing confidence because that makes him feel like he's got some value here.

She’s losing confidence.

She’s feeling insecure.

It must mean that she really likes me.

I feel more confident now.

So it's a good thing for most men.

But for women, because they instinctively look for a man who they are going to follow along with in life, they’re looking for a potential leader or protector.

That doesn't mean the guy has to be a tough guy or anything like that, but that he can lead the way and remain emotionally strong, because women instinctively look for that.

If a guy seems like he can't handle any pressure from other men, it switches off her attraction.

At the end of the day, as you may have experienced in your life, not every man that you have met in your life—not every guy—has been helpful towards you, good towards you, had your best interests at heart, looked out for you, and so on.

Some guys will stab you in the back if they get a chance.

Some guys will bully you.

Some guys will take an opportunity that is yours or something that you deserve right in front of you and not give a crap.

They don’t care about the fact that you deserve to get that thing.

They'll just take it because they want it and screw you, sort of thing.

While you'll come across some men who will be fair and say, “Oh no. Look, yeah, that's yours man. You deserve that,” not all men are going to be like that.

Not all guys are going to be like that.

You're going to come across people who are selfish, who don't give a crap about you, or will enjoy hurting you and bullying you and screwing up the opportunities that you have in life.

They'll enjoy that because that's who they are deep down.

That's their wiring.

So if you're going to be a woman's leader and protector, if she's going to follow along with you and hold on to your arm and she's going to be your supporter and cheerleader and walk with you in life towards where you and her want to go, then she's not going to be able to trust that you can do that and you can handle situations in life if, for example, another guy enters a conversation and you suddenly withdraw.

You suddenly feel like, “Oh, this guy is better than me.”

Because if you feel like that, some men will then take advantage of you.

They'll bully you.

They'll push you to the side.

Whereas other men might try to reassure you and help you in a moment like that and make you feel good about yourself.

Not all men are going to be like that, and women know that instinctively.

So if you're interacting with two women and one of them loses confidence, you're not going to say, “Oh well, I can't trust in her to be my leader and protector now. I can't cuddle into her arm as we go through life and know that she's going to remain strong and take on all the challenges for us while I can be her supporter and cheerleader.”

You're not going to be thinking like that because you're a man.

It doesn't mean that in a relationship with a woman she doesn't do anything and you've got to do all the work.

A woman will take on challenges.

She will fight battles for you.

She will take on tasks.

She will help you and support you.

But at the end of the day, she wants to feel like you are stronger than her emotionally and that other guys don't make you feel inferior.

Even though they may have better looks than you, they may have a better education in some cases, or they may be physically stronger or they may be more successful in what you're trying to achieve.

If you then feel inferior around those men, it switches off a woman's attraction for you because she doesn't want a guy who is just going to doubt himself through life.

When it comes to her and when it comes to life, she wants a guy who believes in himself and goes after what he wants.

Even though there are going to be other guys in situations who may be more successful, better looking, physically stronger, it doesn't cause him to go into his shell and feel like he can't achieve what he wants to achieve or get what he wants.

He's able to still go after what he wants regardless of the fact that these other guys may have these other traits that he doesn't have or doesn't have yet.

Something to point out here is that most women are not difficult to get with.

It's actually quite simple.

You may have noticed that play out when you were interacting with a woman—say 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, or maybe 30 minutes, an hour, 2 hours, or weeks with a woman—where you were getting along with her, she seemed interested, but you weren't getting anywhere.

Then another guy came in with a completely different level of confidence and self-belief, and he flirted with her.

He created some sexual tension.

Before you know it, they're kissing, or they're sitting together on a sofa at a party or a bar, or if you're in a café situation, you're hanging out with friends, suddenly she's focused on him.

You name it—whatever the situation is—the woman's energy lights up.

She’s smiling.

She’s giggling.

She’s flirting back with him.

He gets a result right away because he believes in himself.

Even though there are other guys in the group, he just doesn't care.

He doesn't see them as competition.

He focuses on what he needs to do.

What he needs to do is make the woman feel attracted and shoot his shot.

That’s it.

Get her to sit with him, or get her to go to the bar with him, or ask for her phone number, or suggest that they do something together, or put his arms around her lower back and just draw her into him when she's feeling attracted and there's sexual tension between them.

The next thing you know, they're kissing.

It’s not rocket science.

It’s just something that happens all over the world every day when a guy just focuses on what he needs to do rather than focusing on all these other guys, what they have, how cool that guy seems.

“Oh geez, that guy's better looking than me.”

If you focus on that, then it's going to be a problem.

But if you don't focus on the other guys and what they have, and you just focus on what you need to do, then you get a result.

That’s why, for example, the guys who are learning my techniques at Master Attraction are getting results even though it’s something that they’ve never done before.

For example, a member of my Master Attraction Community had never picked up a woman in a bar.

Yet, he did it the first night he tried my techniques.

Another guy hadn’t kissed a woman for a long time, and he did it.

When you start focusing on what you need to do—which is make the woman feel attracted as you’re talking to her—and then you just shoot your shot and not worry about anything else, then you get results.

But if you focus on other guys and see them as competition, then in almost all cases, you’ll find reasons why you’re not good enough.

“Oh, that guy’s taller than me. That guy looks good-looking. That guy has a better job. That guy has better clothes. That guy is saying cooler things.”

The list goes on.

The reality is that yes, he’s better looking, he’s taller.

Fantastic.

Good for him.

What do you need to do?

You want a result with the woman.

It’s not about him.

It’s about you and the woman.

Yes, he might be in the interaction too.

Or he might be texting her as well.

Or he might be someone in your friend group.

Or maybe in the interaction in a bar, wherever it may be.

He may be in the interaction too, or he may like her too.

But what he has that you don’t have is irrelevant if you focus on making the woman feel attracted and not see him as competition.

So if you’re in an interaction where there is another guy talking to the woman and he likes her too, but he notices that you aren’t intimidated by him being in the interaction or liking her too, then he will usually start to lose confidence.

Or he’ll try to show off and try to make himself look better than you, and the woman will notice his insecurity.

She’ll notice that he’s losing confidence and he’s seeing you as competition.

As a result, by comparison, you will now seem more attractive to her because you are the more confident one.

You’re not seeing him as competition.

You’re not feeling like you’re inferior because he may have better looks than you or be taller or have a better job or whatever it may be.

You’re not looking at him as competition.

You’re remaining confident.

As a result, she then looks at you as a confident man who is secure in himself, who is strong, and is someone that she can potentially rely on as her leader and the man that she’s going to follow and look up to as she goes through life with him as a couple.

To wrap up here—if you’d like to learn my secrets for having bulletproof confidence and being able to attract women regardless of the fact that there are other guys around—then start watching my Attraction Mastery video lesson series.

The secrets that you’ll learn allowed me to enjoy my choice of women despite the fact that I’m not a very tall guy.

I’m 5’9 in terms of height, and I’ve always had a high hairline.

I don’t have the sort of looks that turn heads.

Despite that, despite the fact that there were other guys around in the situation—in almost all cases where the guy would be taller or he’d have big muscles or he’d look handsome and so on—I still got the girl.

All you’ve got to do is focus on what you need to do, and that is to make the woman feel attracted and shoot your shot.

It’s very simple.

The guys who have been learning my techniques and applying them are getting results such as kissing women as soon as they meet them, having women ask to be their girlfriend, having sex with a woman and then she starts talking about marriage.

You name it.

They’re getting amazing results with women in today’s dating scene.

Attraction always works in the same way when it comes to men and women.

Women are attracted to certain non-physical traits in men.

When you’re able to display those non-physical traits—otherwise known as personality traits or behavioral traits—women naturally feel attracted to you.

When you’re able to display more attractive non-physical traits compared to another guy, a woman naturally feels more attracted to you.

You’re then able to get results.

Other guys recognize that you seem like you’re a more attractive man.

You seem more confident.

You’re able to make her feel attracted in more ways than the other guy can.

He starts to doubt himself.

He starts to lose confidence.

A woman notices it, and she realizes how attracted she’s feeling to you.

She just wants to be with you.

So if you’re interested in learning my attraction secrets, check out Attraction Mastery now and start getting results with the women you really want.